Lost...
Have you ever felt like your dying inside of yourself? Like your losing your spunk, character, joy and inner peace...like your wilting away as a flower in direct sun with no nourishment shall. Maybe its just me because I know Im not living up to my fullest potential. Living lone can put wear and tear on your soul, so how can you keep your spirits up? Survival of the fittest always come to mind. In a world where all we know are lies and scandals, where is pure peace? Supposedly it is to be in your soul. My soul is tarnished but my heart is pure, perfect combination, huh? Where can you dig when you've dug to the bottom, to the core, but all u find there is lava. Lava created by disrespect, hate, disappointment, hurt, neglect and bad memories. You dig in reverse, searching for anything positive that may shine a little sun or hope. When you find it plant a seed. Pray it grows.
I feel this way every day when I think of you and the sun in my heart the sky of my mind turns to gray from fear of uncertainty of the future. One thing that stay on my mind is the truth but that question that one thing I keep asking myself it wouldn't be possible for me to answer Cuz the pain that I have inside of me from past guilt and future anticipation is eating me alive lika a cancer. I make the effort to live less worth while by reitterating the question in multiple phrases like what does the future really hold? Of course we all know that life is what you make it. But what if the life you want to create is missing a component a vital piece if existence that one can only spend time wishing is it real?, could it be true? If it could, will it ? And if it will God knows I have the will to. But right now I'm focused on this cash Cuz life moves too fast and the dreams that I aspire to definitely include you.
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